Self-help principle #11:
When you hit a setback, recognize its temporary nature.The most talented athletes sometimes find themselves in a slump. Just when many are riding the crest of greatness, they hit a period of shaky performance. Their edge is gone. Skills are suddenly blunted. The slumping athlete goes back to the coaches for advice, to the videos for analysis. Regaining the old form becomes all-consuming a mental posture that may only prolong the lapse in performance.
Anxiety sufferers who learn to overcome their problem sometimes run into the same phenomenon. Just when they think the struggles have faded away forever, they hit a slump. They can't seem to regain that sense of control so recently enjoyed.
Everything is out of whack again. The disheartened sufferer begins to doubt whether things had really gotten any better after all. Maybe it was all an emotional mirage. Maybe it was a temporary peace destined to end against yet another brick wall of anxiety.
After gaining substantial ground, the sufferer may be convinced that the recovery is over.
Having come so far, it's now "back to square one," or so goes the fear. It's an understandable feeling. But it's not the truth. This is a slump. It's temporary. As the sufferer continues to cultivate healthy mental habits, as he deals with the anxiety in a correct way, IT WILL PASS. The sufferer is not at "square one" any more than the slumping major league ballplayer has reverted back to Pony League. Too much progress has taken place for that to happen.
If you've experienced a setback, you've simply hit a bump in the road. You're not off the road, or back at its beginning. It's important to realize this. People who are recovering from anxiety problems have occasional setbacks. It's a fact of life. Others who have traveled the same road have hit the same bump. They've gotten past it and made even more progress.
Don't panic over a slump. Don't toil frantically to get out of this condition. That will only crank up the spigot of anxious feelings. Just keep dealing appropriately with your anxiety and resign yourself to the fact that this is a slump. Put up with the discomfort and ride it out until it passes. It will.
Mentally kicking and screaming against it will keep you in this condition. So will beating up on yourself. Do you think a slumping baseball player will lift his batting average by tearing himself down, telling himself he's no good? Will he break out sooner by chiding himself for being in a slump in the first place? Obviously, that's the worst thing he can do. It damages his self-confidence, which will only hurt his performance.And it's the worst thing the anxiety sufferer can do, too, for the same reason.
It's important to note that this lapse probably did not come out of the blue. In all likelihood, something triggered it something stressful in your life that pushed those old buttons. It might be helpful to deal with the situation, whatever it is. If it is unalterable, then resolve to alter your attitude toward it. Ask yourself if you're overreacting, "catastrophizing" something that is not necessarily a catastrophe. Anxiety sufferers are adept at blowing things out of proportion.
Above all, the anxiety sufferer must keep up healthy mental talk, tough as that is when anxiety hits hard. For example:"This really is unpleasant going through a bout of anxiety, especially after I've felt so good. But I can put up with the discomfort until I get through it. After all, it's just a bout and it's just anxiety, nothing more. It will pass. I'll feel good again. Anyone who recovers from anything destructive habits, addictions, physical illnesses is prone to setbacks. I'm no different. It doesn't mean that I'm not recovering. In fact, the very experience of a setback is proof that I am recovering. What was once a continual presence of anxiety in my life is now an intrusion into an otherwise calm state. I just notice anxiety more now because I am recovering. So I'll just put up with it for the time being."
Keep that state of mind (which may involve a lot of self-discipline) and you'll find yourself on the other side of your slump. You'll view it as a learning experience. You will have sharpened your anti-anxiety skills.
Rant and rave, cry and feel sorry for yourself, and the slump will be longer than it has to be. A healthy response to your setback will free you before long. Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.
